I have an issue with judgment. I hate being judged. I fear it. I fear the gossip, I fear the criticism, and I fear upsetting others. I fear judgment so much that for the last two decades of my life, I have calculated every action, every word, and even every thought so as to try to avoid judgment. Even when I try my hardest to fly below the radar and make everyone happy with my decisions, I can’t seem to escape the judgment.
I have realized three very important lessons as a result of being under the scrutiny of others:
- When I try to make everyone else happy, I make myself miserable in the process.
- This is my life, not someone else’s. I need to make decisions that make me happy first and foremost.
- People are going to judge me no matter what I do or say–I may as well live a kick-ass life anyway.
It’s never easy to start making decisions and choosing things that make you happy. Someone will always be upset with the way you choose to live your own life. Why? I don’t know. But here’s the conclusion I’ve come to: if you’re happy with your life and the decisions you have made, then the people who truly care about you will support you and follow along in your happiness. Those who retaliate probably don’t have your best interest in mind, only their own.
If you’re struggling like I have been with the fear of judgment, remember this: People judge others as a result of insecurities. They like to build themselves up on top of the failures of others, always making sure they are, in some way, “better” than someone else. The reason people gossip, talk trash, and spread lies about others is probably because they have nothing better to do with their lives.
And no, I’m not perfect or innocent. I will own up to my mistakes and say that in the past, I have been this person. We all have. But I’m actively trying to let people live the lives they wish to live, including myself, spread positivity, and surround myself with people who bring out the best in me–not those who bring out the worst.
So here’s to living our best lives free of the fear of judgment. Relish in the fact that you are living life the way you want to live it. Know in your heart that you’re far happier than the people talking about you and judging you. And remember this very important quote:
“Sometimes people will not understand your choices or your journey. They don’t need to. It’s not for them.”
TESS CARCALDI 