Society expects you to grow up, find a local significant other, fall in love, and get married. What society doesn’t expect you to do is travel abroad, fall in love, and enter into a serious, international, long-distance relationship.
Oops.
Long-distance relationships are considered extremely unconventional, even in today’s day and age where we have an incredible amount of technology that makes your significant other feel like they’re with you (to some extent). People always claim, “They never work,” or “It’s too hard to make it work.”
Well, I’m here to say that they do. In fact, just a few weeks ago, I just celebrated one year with my Australian boyfriend who I met while studying abroad in Europe. I am a firm believer in fate, and my heart knew I wanted to be with him from the moment I met him. Call me cheesy, but it’s true.
Is it ideal that we are from literal opposite sides of the world? No, of course not. If I could have him here with me every day instead of for a few weeks every few months, I would.
But we knew what we were getting ourselves into when we continued talking every day and seeing each other when we could after we had met. We knew being together (literally and figuratively) would take a lot of patience, a lot of trust, and a lot of sacrifice. But from the moment we met, we both felt an instant connection, one we both had never felt before, and it felt like our souls and energies just vibed together as one. Again, call me cheesy or cliché, but it’s true.
We knew this wasn’t something we wanted to pass on just because we were from different countries. Sometimes the stars align in funny ways, and it may not make sense to other people, but it made sense to us. So we took a risk, went heart first into our relationship, and it ended up being one of the best years of my life for many reasons.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship like me, you’re probably familiar with the way people react to you telling them that this is your life. I’ve gotten, “Oh, I could never do that,” “Those never work out,” and even (my personal favorite), “You’re crazy! What would your mother say?!” (For the record, my mother supported this from the beginning because she trusted my good judgment, and now I would argue she loves my boyfriend more than me.)
When people react this way to someone you love and to someone you know is both a great match for you and an overall good-hearted person, it makes you feel down. It makes your relationship even harder because you begin to overthink and then your mind floods with doubts.
I’m here to tell you this: you are the only person who knows what is good for you. Other people will try to tell you that something is bad for you when they really just don’t like what you’re doing because it doesn’t suit their needs. Newsflash: your needs matter too. And if something feels right in your heart, it probably is.
As hard as it may be, tune out the naysayers. Tune out the logic. Sure, dating someone from your own country is probably more logical, but why settle for easy and convenient when you know in your heart if you say yes to this risk, it will give you an amazing experience? At the end of the day, I want to live with no regrets. A life with no regrets its a life worth living. No matter what happens, I know I will forever be grateful for my long-distance relationship for the way it has opened my eyes to saying yes to adventure, yes to taking risks, and yes to loving with my heart over my head.
TESS CARCALDI 