TESS CARCALDI

I love to talk about my abroad experience because it changed my life in so many ways. I met incredible people from all over the world, I grew strong friendships and relationships, I discovered new parts of myself I didn’t know existed, and I adventured farther than I ever thought I would.

But, what my abroad experience really opened my eyes to was how different the culture in Europe is compared to the United States. And this is a difference I never would’ve known until I actually lived in a different country.

When I reflect on my time growing up in America, the word “well-rounded” circles my mind. I went to public school all of my life, and it seemed that all of my teachers and guidance counselors always threw around the word “well-rounded.”

“Colleges look for a well-rounded individual.”

“When you look for jobs after college, they will want a well-rounded employee.”

American culture, essentially, is to teach someone to be a well-rounded individual. Colleges and employers want to see someone involved in extracurricular activities such as drama club or the newspaper, who volunteers every so often in their community, who has held multiple internships or jobs in a specific field, and who excelled in school and has the awards to prove it.

American culture is also teaching people that if you are not well-rounded, you will fail. You will not get into a good school, you will not find a well-paying job in a field you love, and you will ultimately be seen by society as a failure because if you don’t have involvement in numerous clubs and volunteer every week and work two jobs and an internship on the side, what do you really have?

This term haunted me when I was growing up. In fact, when I look back at my high school and college days, I am appalled at how little I cared for myself. I was beyond stressed because of that little word.

My sophomore year of college was my breaking point. During this year of my life, I averaged a maximum of four hours of sleep per night. Most of my days I went to bed at 3AM and woke up at 7AM. I lived on iced coffee and any form of nutrients that came in a small package like a granola bar. If I wasn’t doing homework, I was working at my job, volunteering at the soup kitchen, writing and editing online, dancing, sitting in meetings for three different clubs, and stressing out about the fact that I still had homework left to do.

And, quite frankly, the only reason I was this stressed out was that I wanted to be a well-rounded human who would eventually work a job in my field.

Our culture is very “go, go, go.” Yes, it is incredible that we are made up of such hardworking people. Yes, it is incredible that because of our hard work, we have been the forerunner in so many advances in so many fields.

But at what cost? Every day, I turn on the news and there’s a new survey about how the majority of Americans are working their asses off and still can’t make ends meet. I read about how many Americans are stressed to the point where it makes them want to harm themselves.

Is this what we get for being a well-rounded person? Stress? Minimal pay? 10 days off a year?

When I went abroad, I didn’t realize how “go, go, go” American culture was until I lived with people who truly knew how to enjoy life. In Italy, the people know how to slow down. They don’t just throw the phrase, “Stop and smell the roses” around like we do; they actually live that phrase.

They know how to find joy in the small things, whether its a glass of Chianti followed by a nap during riposo, or its a shot of espresso standing at the bar before work, wiping cornetto crumbs off their lapels.

There is a bigger purpose than just working yourself to death in a huge corporate office. And they know this. They know it well. They find purpose in their families, in their friends, in their experiences, and in their espresso. They know there is more to life than just work and success, and it is something they have always known.

And if that’s not the best way to live, then I don’t know what is.

I will always be proud to be an American. But I wish we could adopt some of Italy’s culture. I wish we would all realize that we are not robots–we are humans who need breaks, who make mistakes, and who need enjoyment every single day to live. I wish we would all realize that there is more to life than just being well-rounded.

Yes, being well-rounded is important. But I think we need to start adopting the mindset that “well-rounded” is not a one-size-fits-all term. Everyone can be well-rounded in their own ways without having to join 5 clubs and get straight As and work three jobs. And we can certainly be well-rounded without being stressed about it (it’s called having boundaries and taking care of yourself, something I wish I knew back during my sophomore year…and for most of my life).

I guess what I’m really trying to say is that we, as Americans, need to start enjoying life more. Work hard, but don’t forget to play hard. Enjoy those little moments in life like the Italians. Sip your coffee in the morning and savor the taste. Always buy dessert: don’t worry about the calories or the cavities. Say yes to adventures, and say no to things that don’t serve you. Spend time with your friends and family because they are forever–your job is not.

We only get one life. We have an average of 76 to 78 years…and if you think about it, that’s really not a lot of time. Europeans live longer on average than Americans by about four years–and I’m sure a lot of this has to do with significant differences in levels of stress.

My goal not just for 2020 but for the rest of my life is to relax more. To have more faith that there is more to life than just being well-rounded and more to life than a job.

Because the fact is that there is. There is so much more to life than this, so yes, let’s go to work, but let’s also try to enjoy ourselves more than we do.